Catatan Harian si Pemimpi

Pagi ini, waktu membuka mata, aku mendapati seorang sutradara dan penulis naskah Hollywood sedang mengetik di meja laptopku. Tapi, dia tidak mengetik di laptopku: dia menggunakan mesin ketik Brother yang sudah agak tua. Suara ketak-ketuknya inilah yang membuatku bangun. Topinya, cambangnya, kacamatanya, dan cerutunya membuat saya yakin kalau dia penulis skenario dari dan untuk Hollywood.

"Sorry my friend, I was walking past your apartment when I saw your blinds were open and I saw your night lamp giving a very beautiful shades of sepia on the wall. I couldn't stand it. I'd been looking for a place for me to finish my script, so I broke into your apartment. You don't have to ask how I got in. I'm a Hollywood scriptwriter, I know how to get into places."

Aku serba gak mengerti. Aku lihat sekeliling, ini memang kamarku. Laptopku tercampak di atas karpet, bertumpukan dengan kertas-kertas dan kabel dari chargernya. Kere jendela masih terbuka, tapi hari sudah siang. Aku ingat kalau aku tadi baru tidur sekitar pukul 5, sesudah subuh, tapi masih gelap, jadi kubiarkan saja jendela terbuka.

"So, wha're up to, Mr. Scriptwriter?" sepertinya saya tidak bisa berbuat apa-apa lagi selain menanyakan itu.

"I'm finishing my script about this murder, murder in an old apartment complex. It's a complex one. I have to be in a real old apartment to get the feel. I even feel that I have to be in the equally complex situation to really know how it will end. It's kinda confusing. I've never killed anyone before."

Terus terang aku langsung kaget, berarti dia akan bunuh aku seperti dalam kisah-kisah yang penuh plintiran itu: "So, how are you gonna kill me?"

"No, my brother, I'm not gonna kill you. Only cheap twisted thrillers do that. I don't do that kinda stuff. In my case, I just wanna see how you react to such a murder that you have done."

Jadi tambah aneh saja di sutradara ini: "I've never done one, Mr. Scriptwriter, and never will."

"That makes it even more interesting. You've never done one, you will never do one... but out of the blue you realized that you've killed someone. Can you imagine how you will react?"

Wah! &*X()$%! &#&@#*!

"Look under your bedsheet, look inside your closet, I got some people guarding outside..."

*^%@! )&*#&??!

"By the way, is there any cups or saucers? I need an ashtray for this cuban thing..."